Find out the latest news and topics of interest from Dr. James G. Hood, D.D.S., M.A.!
Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
Dads Are Super
Friday, June 17, 2011
Dads are models for our lives. Dads teach children what to do and what not to do. If your dad is still alive, spend time with him and let him know you love him. This is significant enough that your expressions of love should be in actions and verbally. Most of us say “actions speak louder than words.” That may be true AND words are nice too, especially if rarely conveyed.
If you don’t have a father or never knew your father, you likely had a father figure in your life. Contact this male mentor and express how much he meant to you.
And, if all your male mentors are gone, mentor someone else with the talents you possess because of your male mentor. Pay it forward.
And, if you are a father, show how much your children mean to you in a personal way. Time is the most valuable gift you can give your children. Spend it with them. Consciously create a positive memory of you with your children.
Happy Smiles,
Dr. James G. Hood
Dental Care Associates of Spokane Valley, P.S.
Family and Cosmetic Dentistry Welcomes Patients
from Age 2 to 102!
James G. Hood, D.D.S., M.A.
507 North Sullivan Road, Suite A-1
Spokane Valley, WA 99037-8576 USA
Phone: (509) 928-9100 | Fax: (509) 928-0414
Email: drhood@drhood.com
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Family Movie Night
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Encouraging Better TV For Our Families
I work with a grassroots organization called Moms4FamilyTV, and our goal is to promote high-quality family friendly entertainment that the entire family can watch together. Our initiative is sponsored by Walmart and P&G, who have made it their goal to “bring back family movie night” by producing family entertainment for NBC and FOX.
The next film, Change of Plans, will air January 8th 8/7c on FOX. This heart-warming, funny film surrounds a married couple with no kids, who–through unfortunate events ends up adopting 4 kids from Africa, Asia, and South America. The film reveals how fulfilling life can be when you look beyond your own plans and invest in the lives of others. The film is also very pro-adoption!
Will you please help us make a difference?
We are asking people like you to help spread the word about Family Movie Night and Change of Plans.
Tune in: January 8th at 8/7c on FOX.
Share: Post the trailer on your website & Facebook page.
Watch the trailer: Change of Plans – Trailer
Spread the Word: Tell your friends and family, your church, anyone who has children or might be interested in supporting wholesome family entertainment.
Best regards,
Johanna Hatfield
Moms4FamilyTV Partnership Development
10 Things Your Teenager Won’t Tell You
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
By Kimberly Fusaro, for Woman’s Day
Wonder what’s bugging your teen? It’s hard to be certain when all your son does is grunt and your daughter won’t stop rolling her eyes. So rather than pressing our own kids to talk—not going to happen!—we asked teenagers from around the country what messages they wish they could share with their moms and dads. Sure, every child is different, but it may do you and your teen some good if you took these truthful kids’ concerns to heart.
1. She needs privacy.
“I hate that my parents don’t give me any personal space,” says Eleanor, 14. “And I hate that they don’t think I need it.” Even if your children share a room, give each child an area that’s off-limits to everyone else in the family (including you), such as a desk or a spare closet. To show that you respect your teen’s privacy, don’t rummage through her personal space unless you have a concrete reason to believe that she’s lying to you or hiding something serious. And remember: “All kids today are doing drugs” isn’t a concrete reason.
2. Sometimes he just needs you to listen.
“I want to tell my mom and dad everything,” says Keegan, 13, “but I don’t want to listen to them nag.” Understand that sometimes your kids just want a sounding board—they’re not looking for you to solve all their problems. When your son complains that his science teacher is being unfair or his soccer coach has been extra-hard on him, encourage him to talk by asking open-ended questions. (“Well, how does that make you feel?”) Don’t jump in with advice or threaten to intervene.
3. She may be dating—even if you’ve explicitly said she can’t.
“I didn’t tell my parents about a guy I dated for a year, because they didn’t allow me to have boyfriends,” says Marla, 15. “They knew we hung out, but I’d say, ‘Oh, we’re just friends.’” Try to be relaxed when it comes to dating—even if it’s killing you. Instead of forcing your daughter to sneak around, let her start with group dates, where at least four other kids are with her and her date at all times.
4. He may not be getting great grades on every assignment.
“I don’t tell my parents when I get a bad grade because I don’t want to listen to them tell me how I’ve let them down,” says Sam, 16, who says he occasionally fails a quiz but usually makes up for it with better exam scores. “There are nights I just don’t feel like studying!” Sometimes one bad grade is just that: one bad grade. If your son feels like he can vent to you about bombing a quiz or a book report, you won’t have to wait until the end of a semester to find out he’s struggling in school.
5. She doesn’t want to talk to you about sex.
“My mom knows I’ve kissed a boy,” says Sonia, 15, “but I don’t want to tell her anything else. It’s my life, not hers.” The good news is, in a 2005 government survey, less than half of high school students (47 percent) said they’d had sex. Still, it’s safest to assume your teen is in that 47 percent and educate her about birth control or preventing STDs. Don’t press her for personal details, but do offer advice; use third-person examples if it helps.
6. He hates when you don’t hold his siblings accountable.
“I hate that my parents don’t care how my youngest brother acts,” says Henry, 13. “When he swears or picks a fight with me or my older brother, they say, ‘He’s 7. He doesn’t know any better.’ But when I was his age I would have been in big trouble for swearing.” While it’s natural to become more lax as you have more children, it’s important to consider each unique situation, not just your children’s ages. Remember, all of your kids will respect you more if they think you’re a fair and reasonable parent.
7. She wishes you’d cut her some slack.
“It makes me sad when my mom screams at me when I’m already down,” says Erin, 17. Even if your daughter seems to screw up every time you turn around, it’s important that she doesn’t feel like you’re constantly coming down on her. When you’re upset, take some deep breaths; a few minutes might give you perspective (is it really worth it to lose your cool over dirty laundry?) and a chance to evaluate your daughter’s mood. Perhaps she’s ignored the laundry because she’s stressed about school or antsy about a boy who hasn’t called her back.
8. He lies to stay out of trouble.
“Sometimes I don’t come home because I’m too drunk to drive,” says Aaron, 19. “If I told my parents that, they’d flip out, so I lie.” While it would be irresponsible to give underage drinking the green light, you don’t want your child to be in an unsafe situation because he’s rushing to be home on time. If your son calls just before curfew and says he needs a ride, save your questions (and lectures) for the morning.
9. She gets frustrated when you use her age to your advantage.
“I can’t stand it when my parents say, ‘You’re 17. Act like a grownup,’ one day, and then turn around and say, ‘You’re not old enough to do that. You’re only 17,’ the next,” says Izzy. “Which is it? Make up your mind!” Since “age-appropriate” is subjective, try to give your child hard-and-fast rules that aren’t dependent on a number. (“Every member of this family attends church on Sunday,” or “Visiting friends at college isn’t allowed until you’re in college yourself.”)
10. He wishes you would trust him.
“My parents don’t trust that I don’t do drugs,” says Steven, 15. “And I really hate that they believe what other people tell them instead of what I tell them.” Constantly accusing your kids of this or that—especially if your accusations are unfounded—breeds mistrust. Eventually they’ll do something dishonest just because they’re sick of being wrongly accused. Trust your kids until they give you a real reason not to.
Hope for Healing
Monday, November 22, 2010
Some time ago we remodeled our home. A project that was to last 6 months went on for nearly 30 months and the costs soared. Throughout the project we met workers that did a great job, but others who took advantage of us. They lied to us, conned us, made horrendous mistakes, broke promises, and caused much pain and hardship.
I asked a number of questions throughout the project…questions like: “Why in the world does this need to be done this way?” or “I thought we had planned for that?” and ultimately, “Why has something that was supposed to be so quick and easy, now become so drawn out and hard…will it ever end?” Sound familiar?
Maybe your relationship with your teenager feels like my home remodeling project. Perhaps what you thought would be a momentary struggle has turned into open wound that won’t heal. Maybe your plans for your teen are seemingly going awry, and they are lying, conning you, and making horrible mistakes. If so, I want to challenge you to a different perspective.
Conflict and Struggle With Your Teen Can Bring About Change
What’s that perspective? That conflict and struggle can bring about change. I know that statement is true in my life. And, I believe it can be true in yours. So, look for the positive purpose in the conflict you are having today.
Consider this…if you have ever prayed to be the parent God has called you to be, that’s just what He’s doing! This is a time of tremendous opportunity to build into your child’s life…trusting God to direct your path along the way. Now’s your chance to be used when you’re needed the most.
Don’t back off from the role that He’s called you to. Your understanding of your parenting role is necessary. Your willingness to hang in there during this tough time is perseverance at its best. Your commitment to be a part of God’s plan for your child, seen or unseen, is godly. Your loving your child when it isn’t so pretty is true love. Your knowledge that God is involved in your family is an anchor of hope that will keep you reflecting His love to your child.
And if you will keep the perspective that conflict can bring about change, there is genuine hope….hope that your child can get on the other side and that your relationship can be healed.
The Bigger Picture
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” So don’t give up. And keep a proper frame of mind.” — Galatians 6:9
When you begin to think about your child and what they’ve been involved in behaviorally, more times than not, it’s usually worse than what you think, but never quite as bad as you can imagine. But no matter what you think or what you imagine, there is nothing that can’t be overcome, and there is no relationship that can’t be restored….none.
Understand that what is happening right now in the life of your child and your family is not the whole story. The whole story is what God is up to…His “bigger picture” which entails a whole lot more people than you or your child. And the breadth of that picture is spread far beyond your timing.
I know that it’s hard to think about the bigger picture when you hurt for your child now. But there’s a lot more going on than your situation and your child’s behavior. It doesn’t mean your struggle is any less important, but it does help with keeping your situation in a proper framework. Use this difficult time as a prod to deepen your relationship with your child, and you’ll shorten the amount of time that your child remains in their darkness.
Finally, don’t panic and don’t try to “fix” your child. Fix the boundaries, fix the consequences, and maybe even change the environment, but you’ll never fix your child. Only God can change your child’s heart. Instead, focus on what you can fix in your parenting, and get out of God’s way to do what He needs to do.
Over the years I have found that parents usually get pretty scared when a child begins to struggle. Their fear is based on the realization that they may not be ready to tackle these new challenges. Some may “awfulize” the situation and make more of it than they should. Others may do nothing and hope the fire will extinguish itself. Or, it may be that they are just exhausted.
So, could this be a good time to place these things in God’s hands…into the hands of the one who promises that He will cause all things to work together for good? You bet it is! If you do, you will be on the pathway to restoration.
True Hope for Healing
The only true hope is that God is involved in what is going on with your child. Whether you see it or not isn’t going to change God’s plan for you or your child. So, if God is at work in the life of our child, we’d best understand what He’s doing. That understanding comes through prayer; prayer to understand His will and prayers of submission to God to do whatever He needs to do in your life and the life of your child to turn things around. The older I get, the more I understand that prayer is meant to help us get in line with and understand God’s perfect will, versus trying to influence or change it.
You and I know of God’s hand in the past…..we know of it in the future….but our difficulty comes in believing in His involvement in what is happening today. So, pray. And keep a daily diary; it will help you maintain perspective. Look for ways that God is working in your teen’s life, and record those; being sure to thank Him as you see His hand at work.
Yes, there is hope…if you will hang in there with your child…trust God to fulfill His plan…keep a right perspective…and understand that there is indeed a path to restoration. Depend on His promises to remain true. God, the Creator, is fully capable to fashion a new life and a new relationship between you and your child…so allow Him to heal your relationship. He’ll amaze you, as he does me, as He creates abundant life and perfection out of dust and confusion.
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